Me

I decided to live for me
to dedicate my life for me
to love no one but me
to be no one but me
to look after no one but me
it may seem selfish but this is for me
and right now I need me
cause no one was there for me
and i really need no one but me

-

I tell myself I don't need anyone
I tell myself that I'm better off alone
I've learned
and hell knows i've burned
I was raised in a place where love was never acquired
and apparently its important to be required
I went into this world not knowing what is this thing people claim to be the best
and I had to try it which transformed me into a beast
I tried to love but i just cant
they all want my love
but trying was never enough
I just want to be left
but somehow people just keep coming
wanting something i cant give
something i dont think i have

Why?

I'm really tired, really deeply tired.
I feel like i cant breathe anymore
I feel like everyone hates me
everyone wants to see me fall
everyone wants to see me lose it all
feels like a conspiracy is about to begin
downfall of the hero
This is the end of the story
Im done ...

and im glad that im done.

Rumors

Rumors have been spread
A lot of things have been said
The innocent takes it all
The innocent will be the one to fall
The people will not believe
The people will not see
The people will only hear
The people will continue to talk
to spread to hurt to hate on the innocent
The innocent got burned
and learned a little in the process
The innocent will wait and pray for the truth to prevail

Black

The emptiness is consuming 

The nothingness takes over 

The feelings go numb

Nothing matters anymore

Everything is lost, or shattered 

It all goes black 

Numb

The package only gets heavier
The hurt only gets less painful
The mind only starts to think more deeper
The heart only beats to survive
The body feels nothing
and the surroundings are worthless.

Because I know

I know what loneliness feels like

I know how it feels like to pierce your skin and bleed

I know how it feels like to feel disgusted of your own body

I know how it feels like to wish death upon yourself

I know what darkness is 

I know what pain does to people

I know what sleepless nights are like

I know how it feels like to see all your efforts gone to waste

I know how it feels like to be useless, worthless, simply nothing 

I know, i know it could be worse, but it could be better to?

I could be better, not bitter 

happy not crappy

it could be better
but it's just worse 

Life

Life isn't easy

Cause us humans we choose to complicate it 

we choose to learn a lesson the hard way 

we choose to repeat the same mistakes

thinking, hoping the outcome changes

it doesn't

the start is always different

but it always ends up the same

its a circle cycling

we can change that 

but we don't want to 

A Little Break

I said I wouldn't fall again
I wont feel the pain
Once more, I fell.
It's like heaven, it's like hell
The good feelings, the bad
One second happy, another sad
Loving someone is like an emotional roller coaster
I SWORE
I PRAYED
NOT TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN
TO SEE ALL MY EFFORTS GONE IN VAIN
I DON'T WANT TO FEEL SO HURT AGAIN
THE NUMBING PAIN
THE FEELING OF NOTHINGNESS
THE HOPELESSNESS, RESTLESSNESS, LONELINESS
We all know nothing lasts
I knew, I knew.
But sometimes you just think maybe this is different
Before you know you are bent
and then broken.
Is it ever worth it?
Is it ever going to be true, pure, real?
Wanted, needed, a human feels the need to feel wanted, and needed.
To love, to be loved.

Must Watch

I got goosebumps listening to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7tlFfKCESg

A Girl.

This girl inspired me, check out her story at http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rlnqih

This.

Releasing and exposing myself gives me a sense of power. I'm not afraid to write down my feelings or say what I've been through. I've grown into a strong fearless girl, and I thank every shitty moment and person in my life for that.

Who are you?

Who are you?

To do what you do

To say what you say 

To people who go through shit everyday 

Who are you?

To shove your opinion into their minds

To make them believe they are worthless 

To make them feel helpless

Who are you?

To ask people not to judge you 

When you go around judging others

To ask for forgiveness 

when you are willing to torment a sorry soul

Who are you?

To take away loved ones 

To make them slaves to you

Who are you?

To break peoples hearts 

To play with their feelings 

When you ask them to promise you not to leave 

To stay.

Who are you?

To laugh at others feelings 

When your emotions and humanity shut off

Who are you when you're alone?

Weak?

Insecure?

Needy?

Worthless? 

Attention

People crave attention
and once you give them what they want
they start to want more or nothing at all
Twisted minds, complicated souls
Humans are so hard to please and understand
Those who don't want the attention need it
and those who need it don't deserve it or appreciate it

Insecurity

We are all insecure at some point
At some point, we completely feel weak
Uncertain.
Then you start focusing and over thinking
About your flaws, counting them one by one
About every aspect in and out of your body
You start to pick on yourself
Like rose petals
"Not so good enough"
"Not so good enough"
"Not so good enough"
"Oh I wish I was someone else"
Someone other than yourself
Someone perfect
Someone pretty
Someone witty
Someone talented
Someone who's beautiful inside and out
And then you lose it
You want to isolate yourself
You start to push people away
But all these thoughts are created by your own imagination
You see something completely different
You wish people didn't see you the way you saw yourself
In reality you are a whole lot different
and completely imperfectly beautiful
Inside
And
Out

Passion

I'm passionate with what I do 

Every word I say about it 

Makes my heart move

Street art screams truth

Sketches are soul pieces

Doodles have meaning 

Portraits speak 

Each flaw of a master piece is the best aspect 

Not everyone can see that 

But a true artist 

A true artist can tell a story 

Can make a difference 

Teach a lesson 

A true artist will make you feel 

The passion within 

Not everyone who draws is an artist 

Not everyone who perfects drawings is a true artist 

It's not about how precise it is 

It's the story that lies Beneath 

It's the lesson to be taught 

It's a part of the artist within 

A Passionate artist is a true artist 

Not a perfect artist but a true one. 

And that is all that matters. 

Inside

Look into my eyes

You'll soon realize the truth from lies

That I'm not happy … not fine

The character I once built for myself

Is somewhere ,might be resting on a shelf

The smile on my face

Is now out of place

All you can see now is me

The girl who lost her heart

Who watched her life fall apart

Constantly hoped for her happy ending

All she wants now is her end

To end her play and pretend

This broken soul inside of her

She wants so desperately to set free

Because life.

You can't have it all

There is a price to pay 

Someone or something will take the fall 

Life goes that way

You have it good for a day 

Then the next it's gone all away

Count your blessings 

Don't take anything for granted 

Cause one day 

Everything could be taken away.

Fade to black

Darkness 

Nothingness 

Loneliness

I am a creature of the night 

I have no will to fight 

Sick of picking up the pieces

Of my broken heart 

Shattered soul

I am falling apart 

I am no longer whole 

I am not myself 

I just push them away 

I can live by myself 

That's the only way

To live happy 

But lately This void 

This black hole is filling me up

Emptying my soul 

Darkness

Nothingness

Loneliness

Is all 

Will be all 

I feel..

I am fading into black

And I can't go back 

Intro.

No, this is not a blog about a cliche story that has a happy ending, not about the lastest trends, and not about making this world a better place. This blog is meaningless to you, but to me it's my silver lining.

My head just ain't what it used to be, and again what's the point anyway? ~